how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
