i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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