I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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