You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
