Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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