I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
