I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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