I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
