Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize