Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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