you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
