don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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