I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize