Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't think brook has ever known best
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
