The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
