kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
