i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
