This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think your dad took our porno
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
