Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
