do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
