Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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