Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
