I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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