good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize