remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
