nut hugger
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
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I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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