for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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