Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I think my vagina is haunted

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(303): View more from Colorado

And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?

(1-303): View more from Colorado

That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence

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(210): View more from Texas

"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days

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(765): View more from Indiana

i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring

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(719): View more from Colorado

I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine

(202): View more from Washington, DC

That’s how my thanksgiving went

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