I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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