I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize