just tell him i said nine months
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
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I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
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You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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