I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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