for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
