Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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