went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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