I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
