I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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