Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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