You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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