you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
