Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize