I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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