just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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