I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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