Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You ruined the universe
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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