You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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