Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
