my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
