Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
