We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i need some magic done to my vagina
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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