Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
