we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
