I love black thongs
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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