I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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