fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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