Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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