I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
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So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
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I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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