No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
