Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
