just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
