Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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